It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize