we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize