Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
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