Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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