Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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