Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
