Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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