This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Randomize
