And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Randomize
