Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Randomize
