very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
