just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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