I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
