didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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