Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
