Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
