DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
