Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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