I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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