i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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