chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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