Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Randomize
