Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
