He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
