I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Randomize
