If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
