How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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