He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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