Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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