I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
