ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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