he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
