At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
