So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
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