Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Randomize
