I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
