So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
