Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
