Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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