it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
