just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize
