just come out here and I will go home with you...
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
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