wat bout pragnant strippers??
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Randomize
