White coat. Heels.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
