The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
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