im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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