I must be too annoying 4 u.
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I've blown a few things in my day
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
