You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
