I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize
