things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
