i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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