ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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