I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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