Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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