dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
