What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
