Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
