Small penises have feelings too.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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