you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Randomize
