I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
