You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
i just wanna soil my oats bro
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Randomize
