Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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