Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Randomize
