well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
