it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
