Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
