i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
