planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
