Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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