walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
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