You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
