If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
whose ass print is on the piano?
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
