About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
